


the one where they meet in the pad aisle

by peepoop33



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, First Meetings, Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23060272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peepoop33/pseuds/peepoop33
Summary: When Terezi has commanded that Karkat went out to get 'Feminine Necessities' for her, he had instantly told her to go out and get them herself and to stop being a lazy whining pointless douchebag. Although, he soon gave in when a copy of 'The Fault in Our Stars' was not so elegantly thrown at his head.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 3
Kudos: 61





	the one where they meet in the pad aisle

**Author's Note:**

> aight so... i dont really know what i created here but enjoy

When Terezi has commanded that Karkat went out to get 'Feminine Necessities' for her, he had instantly told her to go out and get them herself and to stop being a lazy whining pointless douchebag. Although, he soon gave in when a copy of 'The Fault in Our Stars' was not so elegantly thrown at his head.

Flash-forward to where we are here. Karkat Vantas stood in the feminine hygiene aisle without a single clue of what he was getting here- god why hadn't she told him what to get.

"Jesus-Fucking-Christ Terezi you could of at least given me an idea- or a list or fucking _something_." he angrily mumbled to himself, wishing that in the moment of quickly scrambling out of the house he thought to grab his phone. Alas, he didn't, now he was here.

He was a slightly below average height (it was actually quite a lot more than slightly, but mentioning that would make him more than just a little bit angry) almost 20-year-old college student with little knowledge of female bodily functions, stood in the feminine hygiene aisle of his local store. Sure, he could head back and ask her what she wants and then come back and get said stuff but in all honestly he did not want to show his face here ever again let alone come back. Plus he was slightly scared of Terezi throwing something a little heavier than The Fault in Our Stars.

Another thing he was unnecessarily pissed about, why did they have to make the boxes and packages so brightly coloured, there's no way he would be able to pick one up without it being blatantly obvious over what his was getting and he was in no way willing to face anyone doing a double take or shooting him weird looks.

"Okay Karkat, fucking _come on._ Just grab a box, pay and leave, it's easy. Just do it." he continued to mutter to himself, why were there so many different objects that did the exact same thing- pads right? That's what she wanted… or was it tampons? On God, there were different sizes too?

"Hey man, I'm not usually one to judge but you've been staring at that section for the best half of about 10 minutes, do you need help or something because you look like you're either going to implode or destroy the whole shelf." a new unfamiliar voice spoke out making Karkat yelp and spin around, the owner of the voice chuckled slightly at this and Karkat felt himself flush with embarrassment. The guy was probably a worker here judging by the fact that he was wearing the uniform- well, there was the small chance he was just a random stranger who enjoyed wearing the uniform of a store he didn't work at but that was highly ridiculous and Karkat discarded that thought instantly. 

The stranger had a blonde shade of hair that was on the lighter side, his eyes were covered by a pair of shades- surely that couldn't be a part of the uniform here, maybe they just didn't care if he wore them, his skin was slightly tanned and faint freckles were splattered around it. Karkat thought was attractive- or well, would be more attractive if those shades weren't covering up a third of his face, he was also tall- maybe not hugely tall in comparison to others but he absolutely towered over Karkat.

"Fuck off, Blondie- I don't… I don't need your help. I know exactly what I'm getting here, get your nose out of my business." Karkat snapped harshly, strangely enough the other boy remained relatively unfazed, other than the fact that the small grin that had made its way onto his face was slowly growing.

"Blondie? That's a new one, I guess you could say that was gonna happen One Way Or Another," upon seeing Karkat's blank face at the reference, the taller boy looked almost wounded. "C'mon man, you can't tell me you haven't heard that absolutely masterpiece by Blondie? That's like… one of their most famous songs! I swear One Direction covered it as well." Karkat's nose crinkled at the mention of 'One Direction'.

"Listen, I don't give a fuck about your shitty music taste! Just leave me alone already and do your job." Karkat folded his arms, clearly not in the mood to deal with this. His eyes trailed down to the name tag on the boy's shirt. _'Dave' what a stupid name._

"'Shitty music taste'? I'll have you know One Direction was absolutely legendary and may their names never be besmirched," Dave leaned against the shelf, smirking down at Karkat, "also technically I _am_ doing my job, you're a customer and I'm tending to your needs."

"I don't fucking need you to _tend_ to anything," Karkat hissed before sighing, he now realized that he was probably not going to be able to get rid of the annoyance called Dave anytime soon. "what do you want from me?" 

"Your number," Karkat choked, "but like, I also want to be a good worker and try to assist you- woah hey are you alright-"

Karkat's face had flushed a deep red to the point of burning- did this man seriously just- ask for his number? In the _pad aisle??_ The boy's face proceeded to morph into an even more pissed off glare. 

"Stop fucking with me and piss off! Seriously! My friend just sent me out here with little to no knowledge about feminine hygiene commanding that I get her the necessities- whatever the fuck that means! She didn't even tell me exactly what she wanted! Then while my brain is already going into overdrive as to what the fuck is the difference between a nighttime pad and an average one is- do not even get me fucking STARTED on tampons, your smartass saunters over and asks me for my number just to fuck with me! I _swear to god_ if this day gets any worse I'm going to scream!" Karkat ranted angrily. Dave stared at him blankly before snorting and breaking into laughter.

"What? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING AT? NOTHING I SAID IS FUNNY! STOP LAUGHING." 

"No dude, it's just- okay hang on give me a minute," Dave continued to almost keel over in laughter, "alright alright- first of all 'Nighttime pads' are like larger- tampons are very much different from pads and dude I was in no way fucking with you when I asked for your number." Karkat looked confused once again.

"You... weren't? WHY THE FUCK DO YOU WANT MY NUMBER?" 

"'Cause I think you're cute dude, unless you don't swing that way, in which case I'd like to be friends," Karkat's blush deepened more, Dave still couldn't wipe the grin off his face, "anyway, about your friend, it would probably be safer to get ones for a slightly heavier flow if you don't know so then you don't have to worry about going out and getting bigger ones."

"Why do you know about this?" Karkat shot him a confused look, he wasn't intending to come across as judgmental but when he automatically alway spoke rather harshly it was kind of hard not to.

"I have two sisters, I sort of picked shit up from years of dealing with them," Dave said, leaning over to grab a box off the shelf and handing it to Karkat, "if I can't get your number can I at least get your name? I'm Dave Strider, well, you probably knew the first name from the name tag but hey."

"Karkat...Karkat Vantas.." He said hesitantly, did this dude seriously want to be friends? Or well more- jeez he called him cute didn't he? "Uh, you can have my number if you want it, Strider." 

At this, Dave smiled brightly as Karkat reached to pull out his phone before realizing something, "Shit, I left my phone at home…" 

"I guess I'll give you mine and have to hope you'll message me. You have Pesterchum? I'll give you my chat handle." Dave pulled out his own phone along with a pen and began to write it on an old bus ticket he found in his pocket. He handed it to the shorter boy. Karkat took it and read it before putting it in his own pocket. "Anyway, is your friend also wanting painkillers?"

Karkat shook his head, "No, she had some… she just wanted this... uh, thank you anyway. Even if I didn't really need it. I'll… I'll see you around, Strider." Karkat said, daring to look up at those stupid sunglasses, only seeing his own face in return. Dave smiled in return.

"You better message me, man, I don't waste my Blondie jokes on just anyone."

  
  


Karkat felt a small smile on his face as he walked out of the store after paying. He practically sped-walked the entire way home. When he arrived, he threw the box towards Terezi before quickly going to his room and grabbing his phone.

\-- carcinoGeneticist began pestering turntechGodhead  at 18:13 --

CG: HELLO

  
TG: hey is this the cutie from the store

CG: WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE?

TG: you never know man i have many admirers

CG: YOU DO?

TG: its okay you're the best one

CG: YOU'RE INFURIATING

TG: thanks 

TG: so anyway, what i gotta do for a date?

CG: NEXT FRIDAY AT 6. 

CG: I DON'T HAVE ANY CLASSES THEN.

TG: damn that was easy

TG: you a college student?

CG: YEAH

TG: lit me too

TG: ill see you then ;)

CG: BYE.

  
  


Maybe that certain blonde-haired annoyance wasn't so bad.

**Author's Note:**

> uh let me know if you want me to like ever continue this or sumn


End file.
